My youngest sometimes leaves the house in clothes that don't match - camouflage t-shirts with striped pants Tuesday and a polka dot skort with a cow print jacket on Wednesday - and wild, curly hair that is detangler resistant; these things would make m-i-l cringe if she saw us on our way to school.
And I don't know how to properly set a dinner table. This, however, is something I want to learn to do. I understand the plate chargers and napkin rings, low-level floral arrangements so you can see your guests across from you (I even remember some sophisticated looking napkin arrangements from my Catering days), and maybe someday I will read the sections of Martha Stewart's books that involve entertaining and not just cooking.
But there is something I do and enjoy doing, a domestic task that brings me so much, ridiculous giddy joy that I don't give up all hope on myself as a good wife.
I make hubby's lunch every night, and not just any lunch.
I make paninis - deconstructed Nicoise Salads within a panini, and send him off with a red wine vinaigrette in a cute little Tupperware so the bread doesn't get soggy sitting in the fridge overnight.
I make BLT's on whole wheat, and they definitely crunch so freshly the next day when he bites into them. I'm not with him at work, but I am sure this happens, with or without me there. I guess this makes it kind of a philosophical sandwich.
I make his favorite - egg salad - and I know just how he likes it (extra extra mustard) and no deli anywhere in the country could make it better for him than I do.
I make wraps, and not with deli chicken because that is overly salted and preservative-ized beyond recognizable flavor. I roast a chicken, slice the meat thin, and make a basil aioli with Swiss or sharp cheddar (the sharper, the beddar), add a Romaine leaf, then wrap it up in foil so well, I make burrito-wrapping taco shop dudes look bad.
And when I feel like sharing my typical lunch, I slather some hummus into a pita, stuff with alfalfa sprouts, diced tomatoes, hard-boiled egg, and whatever lean protein we had for dinner the night before, then put in it parchment paper for him, and it is worthy of a profile in Cooking Light, I swear.
These homemade lunches save us oodles of money. And that gives me a boost.
But most of all, I do it because I love him so much. The extraordinary brown bag I send him off with, I hope, translates into, with this healthy grilled panini without ingredients you can't pronounce, may you sleep next to me every night into an eternity.
When you are so intertwined with someone, even chicken salad can deliver a message of intimacy. Yes, really.
With scribbled love notes and hearts drawn in red Sharpies on the sandwich baggies, of course.
NOT JUST ANY CHICKEN SALAD
1 cup cooked chicken (from either a roasted chicken or a store-bought rotisserie), diced or cut up fine
3 stalks celery, diced
optional: 1 hard boiled egg, chopped
optional: one green onion, sliced thin
optional: 1/3 cup toasted walnuts, pecans, or almonds - cut up, sliced or slivered
2-3 tbsp. mayonnaise
1 tsp. sour cream
1/2 tsp. smoked paprika
1/2 tsp. Old Bay seasoning
salt and pepper to taste
squirt of lemon juice
Mix all ingredients well, taste to check seasonings, Add salt and pepper last, after checking seasonings! Good on toasted bread or sourdough roll.









