Things My Dad Told Me

On Veteran's Day, I can say that I am aware of how unaware I am.

I am unaware of the fear and adrenaline that pulse through the veins of people who are being shot at. I am unaware what it is like to be in a mental and physical place which requires me to do something unspeakable like shooting at - trying to kill - someone else. I am unaware what it feels like to have an MRE next to someone in the morning, then find out they've been killed two hours later. I am unaware of what the world was like sixty-five years ago in the grips of evil.

My father and grandfathers now these things, though. Even my grandmother, who was a nurse in Panama in WWII.

On Veteran's Day, the very least I can do is write about the soldiers in my bloodline - and being unaware of something begs the question; what the world be like without our soldiers, the veterans, the active, retired, reserves?

That thought scares me.

My elders comfort me.

The people who choose to serve humble me.

I went to the military base with my grandparents as a kid to do our grocery shopping. The soldiers at the fIrst check point at the bases - MCRD, NAS Miramar - saluted my grandpa and I always thought to myself; once upon a time, my Grandpa was a younger man who didn't fall asleep watching the evening news, or get so busy talking about baseball that he burnt the ribs on the barbeque.

I am aware that I come from great men, like so many others, and today is a very special day.

So here is how I honor my Dad.

I capture and display his impeccable skills at matching tropical prints.

I celebrate his goofiness and good-natured excesses at family get togethers (note the near empty wine glass).

I admire his gentle nature with little creatures; grandkids, finches, or his un-trained granddogs that always jump on him. My Dad is a tall guy (6"3), he was big enough to scare away lots of potential suitors (or maybe I did that on my own), but when I was a little girl, we went bird-watching almost every weekend. He taught me to be free-spirited like a lark and approve of my own plumage whatever the season, but to have eyes, and instincts, like a hawk.

He taught me a lot of other things, too.

1) People are capable of change.

2) There is nothing wrong with a girl having a big appetite.

3) If you don't respect yourself, lots of other people in this world will be happy to oblige.

4) It's better and a lot easier to tell the truth.

5) You should treat people better than the world has treated them.

6) Avoid lemmings (actual and metaphorical).

7) You can have opposite convictions of someone, but still love, and respect them, wholeheartedly.

8) Not to cast my lure into the reeds.

The only thing my Dad ever said about Vietnam was that Oliver Stone was more accurate than anyone else, and that sitting with your back to the door is ill-advised.

Other than those comments, I am unaware of what, for my father, serving in the war was really like.

I suppose that is one thing he didn't want me to know.

THANK YOU VETERANS