End to a Family Feud

I didn't have brothers or sisters growing up. An only child, I didn't evolve with sibling rivalry and until now as a parent, had no idea what siblings do to each other, and so tired of it unrelenting, how parents will ignore the less offensive and violent squabbles.

When I met my husband, and we dated over a summer and got to know each other, he mentioned his brothers and slowly I got to know them, two younger ones, pretty well. Well enough for them to let me see their familial anger erupt with each other, yelling and screaming, infantile behavior, over....[drum roll please].....sharks and whales.

Also, Godzilla and Gamra. And lions and tigers. And bears, when you bring sports into it. My husband and his brothers fought over whose team was superior and going to the Series, or the Super Bowl. Fighting over which animals, teams, or fictitious creatures were better.

You know, brother stuff. Which I was entertained by and happy to leave alone, for the most part.

I had to get involved in the shark and orca, lion and tiger debate. I couldn't help it. That summer of hubby courting me and my introduction to brotherly "dynamics", we watched Shark Week and the arguing was so assesine, I called my voice mail, recorded them, and then played it back for them so they could see what dumb asses they sounded like. But the truth was, I enjoyed every minute of it. I laughed in ways I didn't think possible. I hoped I got to marry into the family because they were just as crazy as mine (in my family, we fight about politics and religion).

I've had a thing about lions all my life. Don't know why, I just find them majestic. Naturally, the guy who would become hubby preferred tigers (also, the Auburn Tigers, for reasons unknown to any of us). I insisted, as did his brothers, that lions were not called "The King of the Jungle" for nothing. Argument over. Not really.

But I was working at Sea World of San Diego at this time. Killer whales are kind of Sea World's thing. I believed then, and still believe now, that a killer whale - big brain, socially advanced with young to protect - would destroy a great white shark. Also, I had known animal behaviorists, biologists, trainers and caregivers of Orcas for years. So I asked the head of Animal Care myself, "Who would win, an orca or white shark?" And the answer I got was "Orca." It wasn't a wishy-washy answer, it didn't even come with a "Well, if the whale was sick or injured..."

The answer, from the trenches, was ... orca.

You can't argue with a guy who's been on the ocean for three decades. So that was the end of it. Not really.

But my hubby-to-be affirmed then, and still does now, that the brute strength, bite pressure, and longevity of the shark species give the great white an advantage in a duel with a killer whale.

I found it very heartening that his brothers always agreed with me. That was almost as good as the hilarity the brothers all provided. That fellowship and chance to get in silly arguments with siblings I so missed as a child was irresistible later in life, even against the guy I loved. His brothers accepted me and it was just fun to playfully disagree and verbally spar with my man, making him so red-in-the-face mad.

After almost 19 years with my hubby now, the debates still rage on. At holiday dinners, someone always mentions Godzilla, or Shark Week ("it's Shark Week because no one would watch Orca Week" hubby says), and hubby and his brothers all give their Mother reason to be proud. They, all much older now, will argue anytime, anywhere, even on special occasions, over things no one else gives a crap about.

I so would not change that about them. I have what I always missed. And science, my brothers-in-law, former colleagues, and now, National Geographic are all on my side.

This video just surfaced. I e-mailed it to my brothers-in-law and hubby. One of my b-i-l's replied within minutes, so enthusiastic to see the footage we've needed all these years to prove our point. Who surfaced after the underwater battle between two oceanic creatures, the fish or the mammal? Huh?

The argument is over. Really.

Behold the fiercest creature in the animal kingdom - not the orca, not the shark, but the Momma.