Strength in Numbers
Why Join a Parent Support Group
By Samantha Gianulis
Have you ever felt like there is no one else who would understand the worries, problems and simple joys of parenthood as you’ve experienced them?
Is there anyone else in the world that bites their nails when their child is in a car with someone else, and is it silly to tell someone that you’ve decided the meaning of life is summed up in your baby’s giggle? You’re in good company.
Many other parents in the same stages of exhilaration, happiness and fear as you are. As parents, our collective goal is to raise healthy and happy children while juggling the responsibilities of everyday life. But it’s not easy and we need support to reach our goal.
When I gave birth to my first child six years ago, I had the typical questions and concerns of a first-time parent. Was I doing it right? Am I a good mommy? Isolated in my home, I called the pediatrician often, and my friends and relatives everyday. Someone recommended a Mommy & Me group, where I would meet other parents. I took the advice and registered for a Parent/Infant Outdoor Class through Foothills Adult School, offered by the Grossmont Union High School District,
(http://www.guhsd.net/adult).
It turns out there are a variety of parent participation groups in San Diego. There are groups through schools and health care organizations; groups who exercise with their babies; classes at retail stores; and groups of moms who have been getting together for years, always meeting and bringing in new parents.
All of these groups have the same mission: supporting one another in parenting through community interaction.
In the Parent/Infant Outdoor class through Foothills, we met once a week at different parks. We had playtime, song time, feeding time, craft time and a walk around the park with our strollers. Some of us had only one child; other moms brought their infants and toddlers. We listened to each other’s stories, sympathized with the challenges of parenting and boosted each other’s confidence.
We were all there for the same reasons. Mandy Williams, a mother of two from San Carlos, says she joined a Parent Participation group because “finding more friends with the same age kids was a big thing”.
Finding a friend or group of friends with children the same age can create a comfortable network for your family.
Whether you give each other tips on the best bottles, or your child makes a lifelong friend, everybody wins.
The Parent Connection is a parent support network through Scripps Health in San Diego,(http://www.scrippshealth.org), with more than 3,500 families enrolled. Formerly Las Madres, the Parent Connection has 160 playgroups all over the county. Groups cater to parents with different schedules and lifestyles. There is a minimal annual enrollment fee.
Lyn Adams joined the Parent Connection through Mercy Hospital when her daughter, Nicole, was born. Even though she works and many of the women from the original playgroup have moved, Lyn says, “Months go by until we might see each other again, but when we do, it is as if no time has gone by at all. We all became very close, and we really enjoy each other’s company. It is so cool to see the kids grow up together”.
The Parent Connection also offers workshops, classes, and, with membership, discounts to attractions throughout San Diego with membership.
Twenty-nine years ago, Joan Barnes started a playgroup, now known as Gymboree, www.gymboree.com. Offering classes in play, music and art, Gymboree caters to children newborn to age 5.
“It’s never too early to focus on preparing children for pre-school. We’re all about a pre-school readiness attitude here,” says Eileen Motta, owner and manager of the new Gymboree facility in Clairemont.
“Play stimulates infants to use their bodies and senses,” writes Kristen Zolten, M.A. and Nicholas Long, Ph.D. of the University of Arkansas for Medical Science Department of Pediatrics
(http://www.parenting-ed.org" www.parenting-ed.org). “It helps to develop thinking and intelligence. The most important part, though, is fun. Play has to be fun for both infant and parents, or neither will want to take part”. Not only are playgroups a great place to meet other families, but you and your children can have fun together as they learn to see their world in ways we can only imagine.
If you want to raise healthy kids, you need to be a healthy parent. One San Diego-born company, Stroller Strides,
(http://www.strollerstrides.com), helps parents get back into shape (and stay there) without having to leave the baby in the babysitting room at the gym.
The 50-minute classes provide you with a great workout while pushing your child in a stroller, and the opportunity to meet other moms. Out of all of the parent participation groups I attended, this one benefited me the most. I met other women who had gained just as much weight as I had during pregnancy and had taken it off. Pushing the tandem-jogging stroller along Mission Bay, I kept a respectable pace while my kids counted birds and threw crackers at each other. Doing my abs at the end of the class, my kids would sneak out of their strollers and hang out with the other toddlers. When class was over, the exhausted mommies would take their kids to the nearby park for playtime. My kids made friends and I got the support I needed to be a fit and healthy parent.
Out of these parent support and participation groups, many parents will form their own playgroups. As their children get older, begin preschool or families move, parents re-group for many reasons. Based on common interests and bonds of friendship, in these groups everyone knows your name.
Comforting and almost familial, groups of friends that gather for play dates still enjoy the benefits of formal and organized parent-support groups. I remember getting a free car-seat inspection at a group play date once, arranged by one of the mothers who had been in the group many years and set up the inspection annually.
When tragedy strikes, a group of parents is a powerful force and will often band together to help other families in need.
With such a variety of parent support and participation groups in San Diego, there is no reason to stay indoors, limited to your own imagination and ideas. You and your child have nothing to lose by signing up for a class, or researching support groups in your area. By stimulating the senses, intellect and nurturing the need for companionship early in life, you can give your child a great start by finding the right parent participation or support group. You may do yourself a favor, too.
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Samantha Gianulis is the mother of three children from San Carlos, expecting her
fourth child in late September.
© Samantha Gianulis, 2005
Published in San Diego Family Magazine